Another g/f???

I am not opposed to bringing in another woman into our relationship and thought J was a good fit.  She is quiet, but pretty and we've both known her for years and shes very sweet.  My husband started talking to her about wanting to spend some time together and really let her know we both wanted this and she was receptive.  Well the other night she came over to spend the night.  We all watched tv, drank a few drinks and talked.  It got late and I crawled into bed and she moved up beside me...we both fell asleep.  The next morning we woke up and my husband had crawled into bed behind me.  He was caressing her hair and I rubbed her back and neck.  She seemed receptive and didn't ask either one of us to stop.  I took things slow...see this g/f as usual had never even kissed a girl.  And the thing with that...for me, is if you aren't bisexual I am not going to force it upon anyone.  My husband on the other hand...is a man and believes every woman is bisexual or should be...hehe.  I agree, but its not always the case.  I reached my hand around to rub around her ribcage and slid my hand up under her breast.  I wasn't going to go up under her bra unless I found her receptive or asked me to.  She never did. My husband then slid his hand around to her other breast and she placed his hand on it.  I wasn't aware of this at the time because we were all under covers.  Thats all the further it went because she got a bad migraine and ended up sick as a dog.  But after my husband made me aware she did that I realized he was not going to get his fantasy...not from her.  See we had this g/f a while back who was straight....but NOT with me and it was one of the most intimate moments I had with any girl.  I know thats what he wants to see again, but it has to all click...and it just wasn't.  Anyways he ended up staying home from work to "take care" of her.  I understand shes a friend and we've known her (and this is going to sound very jeolous of me, but its truely not) but swinging is fucking...its sex and sexual....not emotional.  I have never had to "take care" of any men I fucked....and I know its a difference in the sexes...men are primal and sexual whereas women are emotional.  But I don't want my husband in an emotional relationship with someone we are trying to seduce.  I mean I expect we should all be friends and be respectful and caring towards each other.  But when I see him doing things he would normally reserve for his wife....for another woman.  I just don't get it and don't want it that way.  When I tried to explain it to him, he rationalizes that its just like that with women.  Whats with women?  I am starting to feel unbisexual because I just can't deal with that mentality....the swingers aren't wanting to play....the vanilla women want "relationship" type stuff and the men...well they always just want to fuck...so thats not an issue..lol   I mean i know at the end of the day where my husband is going to be and where his heart is, but I can't help as a woman myself to think its unfair of another woman to think she should have my husband like that...where are all the sluts who just want to fuck and have a good sexual time??  Geesh.    Needless to say after 1/2 the day at our house, J just got up and left, no ty or whatever.  And that was really strange.  Was she regretting it?  Did she think I was mad?  I mean I guess I just put too much thought into all this....again just need a no strings attached slut for my husband. lol    My husband talked to J via txt and she said she just wasn't ready for all this, after a previous break up.. Oh lord...its just sex.  Maybe I am a sexual addict with a mind just alittle like a man, because I am not in a relationship with anyone but my husband....but someone who in this lifestyle is about fucking different people...men and women and if it works out it does, if not...live and learn I guess.   So we will see what happens with this.  Because I know he really wants to fuck her.  I am ok with that, but that needs to be all it is....